I'm Putting His ASS on the COUCH!

I’ll be the first to admit…

NO, I’m not married...... and NO I’ve never been married.

BUT…YES, I’ve been in a long term relationship and YES we were sexually active.

But not once did I ever use my “cookies, pocketbook, VA-JJ” or whatever your nick name is for your VAGINA as a means of punishment.

This is an argument that I have oh so often with my friends that are married. Some tend to think that it’s OK to put their mates out of their beds and make them sleep on the couch when they’re not pleased with them.…..when they’re in disagreement about an issue……or when they’re just plain ole MAD.

And I TOTALLY DISAGREE!

Unlike WOMEN, MEN are visual and physical creatures….and please believe that it’s just a matter of time before that MAN who’s been sleeping on that COUCH is going to get fed up and frustrated and seek comfort for his needs somewhere else.

Now, I know you holier than thou folk, or those of you who are simply blinded from the TRUTH or saying…”if a man is going to cheat…he’s going to cheat!”

NOT TRUE!

WOMEN, you can push your MAN into a compromising situation by being unreasonable and unrealistic. Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying that men should get a pass and be granted free access to victory land whenever he picks and chooses.

What I am saying is….no man is going to feel like he’s less than a man….feel manipulated and isolated…feel forced and frustrated…be backed into a corner…while you withhold the very “1” thing that most men desire more than football!

Ladies…it is what it is and I’m hipping you to the TRUTH! The couch is not the ANSWER! There are other ways to get your point across! There are other ways to make your MAN feel your frustration and disappointment. Yes, the cookies are a gold mind…but withholding them and putting him on the couch isn’t the ANSWER! Remember…..I’m just hear to shed some light and help you see the TRUTH!

Remember this is more than just a blog...it's informative and entertaining!

The IMPORTANCE of YOUR CIRCLE!

In life we can get so busy and so caught up in the NOW, until we forget about yesterday and tomorrow. Recent events in my life made me STOP and re-evaluate everything and everyone that was around me. I had to literally sit and take INVENTORY of everything and everyone that was a part of my CIRCLE!

Now, the TERM CIRCLE is very significant to me. The TERM CIRCLE means more than just a mere geometrical figure. A CIRCLE is something that ENCOMPASSES.....meaning.....it encloses, it goes completely around, it surrounds, it encapsulates, it engulfs.

A circle has an effect on EVERYTHING that's within it. It can make what's inside BLOSSOM or it can be so detrimental and poisonous that it can suck all of the life out of it.

So, in me doing a 360 and evaluating my CIRLCE....I realized that the life and the light that I had inside of me was slowly seeping and drifting from my very being. It was literally being torn from my soul.

Things were so confusing and discombobulated until I began to question ME! I began to question WHO I WAS! I started asking myself, am I really who they say I am? What did I do to have people treat and do me this way? Why do people insist on lying on ME? Why did they choose ME? I was miserable! I was HURT! I was ANGRY!

BUT...I realized that it was my FAULT! I HAD ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO CHANGE ME! I HAD ALLOWED PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME, HAVE ME QUESTION MY CHARACTER!

IT WAS MY FAULT AND I KNEW IT! I ALLOWED IT......

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO CORRUPT ME!

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO USE ME!

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO ABUSE ME!

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO SPEAK DEATH INTO ME!

I ALLOWED IT.....

Yes, I allowed what surrounded me to control me! I realized that I was no longer the honest, intelligent, beautiful woman that my loving parents raised me to be.

I started thinking...I started praying...I started crying! I began cleansing myself of everything and everyone that was not POSITIVE and didn't SPEAK LIFE into ME!

I realized and understood that this wasn't the POPULAR thing to do! I realized that it would come with pain and loss!

BUT....I could no longer think about the NOW! I had to think about my YESTERDAY and my TOMORROW!

I remembered what it was like to have PEACE! I remembered what it was like to have JOY! I remembered what it was like to have people who LOVED me for ME and not for what they THINK I HAVE or how they could benefit FROM THEIR FRIENDSHIP with me. I remembered what it was like to have people around me who knew my character and when it was questioned.....wouldn't doubt it!

I TOOK BACK MY LEASE ON LIFE AND IT'S ON INFINITE TERMS!

I had to erase that CIRCLE....and now I'm starting over! I'm starting over with a simple fraction of a whole!

Don't let your CIRCLE CORRUPT YOU! Don't allow people to SPEAK DEATH into YOU! Don't allow people to MANIPULATE and control YOU!

At the end of the day...what's around you will definitely determine what is birthed out of you.

I don't know about you...but I want LOVE!

I want PEACE!

I want HARMONY!

Ask your self......WHO'S REALLY A PART OF YOUR CIRCLE!

Remember...this is more than just a BLOG! However, this time....it's PERSONAL and it's REAL!

TIL DEATH US DO PART!

When I think of the words "TIL DEATH US DO PART", the first thought that comes to my mind is.......WOW, THAT COULD BE A VERY LONG TIME!

I can remember as a little girl and as a young adult dreaming about that day when MR. RIGHT would waltz into my life, get down on one knee and ask that magical question...."Will You Marry Me?" Well, now that I'm a mature WOMAN, who loves where I am in my life.....I don't know if I want to be with the SAME MAN until DEATH.

I don't know if I would enjoy waking up to, having sex with or even being in the PRESENCE of the SAME PERSON EVERYDAY for the rest of my life!

Now, I know society says that it should be every woman's dream to meet Mr. Right and live Happily Ever After! BUT, it's not! There are women in this world who are happy with having free reign with dating.....who are happy with being able to interchange men......who are just happy with just BEING.

Who says that MARRIAGE is everyone's HAPPILY EVER AFTER? I sure am not sure if it's MINE!

As I think of MARRIAGE and LIFE.......I simply have to ask.....
Who makes up the social rules that tend to govern our thought process and our path in life?

WHO SAYS THAT MARRIAGE IS FOR EVERYONE?

WHO?

You know....it's amazing and often comical how biased society can be. Why is it acceptable and NORMAL for a man to be in his late 30's, be successful, be happy and still be SINGLE?

HOWEVER.....if a woman is in her late 30's, smart, attractive, happy, not CRAZY and is still SINGLE.....THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER?

PLEASE!

Who makes these crazy ass biased rules.......Who's standards are these?

Let me tell you what's CRAZY or what's not NORMAL!

It's CRAZY for a woman to marry a man just because she thinks society is going to label her as not being normal if she decides to stay single, successful and happy.

It's CRAZY for people to expect you to settle down with a man just because you are almost out of your child bearing years.

It's CRAZY to expect to have to get married, explain your every move and ask for permission to do things that you've been doing independently your whole grown life.

It's CRAZY for a man to be pressured into marrying a woman who he knows he's not happy with just because of the length of time they've been dating exceeds the acceptable range by SOCIETY!

You know what's even CRAZIER....it's absolutely CRAZY to marry a man who you know isn't going to be faithful to you (because he hasn't been faithful to you while you were dating him), who really doesn't want to marry you....who pretty much really is just marrying you because you're the SAFE catch.....

Now....these are things that are crazy and not normal to ME!

Before I end.....let me just say......SURE, I would get married if I met that man who's a liberal thinker as myself. Someone who understands my need for equality and security. Someone who knows the typical expectations that society has placed on the title "WIFE" may not be the ones that I hold dear to my heart or can even meet! Under certain conditions and the RIGHT situation.......Yes, Yes, and Yes I would walk down that aisle and say, "TIL DEATH US DO PART!" But only when it's RIGHT for ME! Not because it's what society says I should do!

A dear friend of mine recently told me.....You have to chose to be HAPPY or chose to be RIGHT!

At first I didn't get it and I asked her to explain, but after a few days of thinking it through and really meditating on it.........I get it! But I also get the fact that I chose PEACE over anything.

I grew up in a two parent household where MARRIAGE wasn't always that GREAT and it wasn't always horrible. But it did give me a perspective as to what it would be for ME!

If my choosing PEACE means I will be single for the remainder of my days.....that's what I will have to deal with.

But I do know that I refuse to compromise, I refuse to waiver, I refuse to be anything other than what GOD created me to be. I can't DO what SOCIETY expects me to do simply because it's looked at as NORMAL. If that means that people will continue to ask me, "Why aren't you married? What's wrong with you?".......Well, I just have to keep answering....."I'm good! I'm happy! The question should be...wthat in he hell is wrong with you?"

"TIL DEATH US DO PART........TIL DEATH US DO PART.......TIL DEATH US DO PART.........."

WOW! That is a VERY LONG TIME!

Remember this is more than just a blog........."It's informative and entertaining"

Does GAY AMERICA get SPECIAL TREATMENT?

Recently Tracy Morgan was verbally attacked, forced to apologize, was threatened to be fired and was almost ostracised for his homophobic rant in which he used the pejorative term "faggot."

Now, let me be clear.....by no means do I agree with the things that were said by Mr. Morgan. HOWEVER, I do agree with the fact that he should have the right to voice his opinion about gay men or anyone else that he chooses when he chooses.

Was what he said polite or funny? No!

Should he have thought twice about what he was saying before he said it? Yes!

What Tracy said was hurtful and painful to many. But, according to our 1st Amendment.....he had that right!

After seeing the backlash Mr. Morgan received from his actions; I became truly amazed at how upset society gets whenever someone opposes or criticizes GAY AMERICA. If you disagree with gay marriage, call them out of their name, or do anything that makes a gay individual feel UNCOMFORTABLE....it's as if the world is about to end.

GAY RIGHT groups will BAN together and ENSURE that your life will definitely be a LIVING HELL from that point on!

HELLO!

I'm sorry! I'm not understanding!

Michael Richards who played Kramer on Seinfeld. was doing a stand up show at the Laugh Factor. During his show he was heckled by several black audience members. After not being able to handle the heckling he went on to say, "He's a NIGGER, He's a NIGGER, He's a NIGGER, He's a NIGGER, He's a NIGGER!" He used the term NIGGER SIX TIMES! SIX TIMES!

He wasn't apologetic by any means!

As a matter of fact, he insisted that the NIGGERS be thrown out of his show.

And what happened to Mr. RICHARDS? Well let's see.......NOTHING!

Seinfeld continues to be one of the top running syndicated shows on television and Mr. Richards continues to make millions.

WOW!

Now let's take a look at poor Isaiah Washington (former co-star on Grey's Anatomy). In July of 2007 he called his gay white co-worker a fag. Mr. Washington was immediately terminated from the show. This talented actor has been fighting to recover from this tragic moment in his life. It's almost as if he disappeared off the face of the earth.

But finally he was given a 2nd chance. Last week he made his first appearance on Single Ladies. This is an African American show with African American producers. It took him 4 years! 4 YEARS to recover!

It truly amazes me how we can be blind or so comfortable with the rudeness or blatant disrespect to some races or individuals, but be so OFFENDED when others are put on the spot.

Recently, I saw a picture that was published depicting our PRESIDENT as a MONKEY.

A MONKEY!

How in the HELL is it O.K. and ACCEPTABLE for a republican representative to send out an email to his colleges with a picture of our PRESIDENT of these UNITED STATES and suggest that his heritage stems from a MONKEY?

AND NOTHING HAPPENED! NO ONE GOT UPSET!

But a black man uses a slang derogatory term referring to a group of individuals in general and he received death threats?

I'm BAFFLED! I'm REALLY CONFUSED!

I'm sorry, but I see a HUGE problem with our society.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't condone or agree with the degradation or disrespect of any human being. I have gay male friends and I love them dearly. However, I don't understand how GAY Individuals feel that more entitled than any other being on this earth.

Should we have to tiptoe around our feelings on GAY MARRIAGE? Should we not say how we would feel if our child tells us their GAY? Should we avoid saying anything that may be viewed as offensive or insulting to anyone that's GAY?

Maybe we should!

However, so should we do the same for blacks, people who are obese, mentally challenged individuals, the handicapped and anyone else who doesn't fit into the quote...unquote box that society has placed us in.

If we're going to get upset about what Tracy Morgan said, let's get upset about all of the other offensive acts that are being committed across the board!

Remember....this is more than just a BLOG.....It's Informative and Entertaining!

PU$$Y.....It will make a man make SENSELESS decisions!

When I decided to write this article, I realized how long it had been since I'd written on my blog. Part of the reason I haven't taken the time to do what I have such a PASSION for, which is WRITE, is one of the reasons I decided to embark on this venture.

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Recently, we've seen numerous scandals regarding POWERFUL or WELL KNOWN men who have willingly and recklessly thrown their professional and personal lives away over PUSSY! (I'm sorry but we're all grown!)

When I look at Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, and Strauss-Kahn, I have to ask, "WAS IT WORTH IT? WAS THE SEX THAT GOOD THAT YOU WERE WILLING TO RISK IT ALL?"

Well, apparently it WAS! And for some....it STILL IS!

All of the men that I named above had a wife at home and a vagina that was open for business. However, they chose to find satisfaction and fulfillment in between the thighs of another.

Although I've never been married, I do understand how complicated marriage can be. I understand how couples can grow apart and how intimacy can be NOT SO INTIMATE at times. However, the issue isn't the mere fact of these power hungry, manipulative and gambling group of men cheating. It's the caliber of women in which they chose to cheat with. These men chose to cheat with women who weren't even in their social class or so society says.

Now I know some are saying, "What does a person's social class have to do with the price of tea in China?" Well, it has a lot to do with it. If you're a well known individual and your livelihood depends on how society views you, why would you become involved with someone who has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to lose? Why would you even consider having an affair with someone who is BROKE and will sell you out to the National Enquirer for a few dollars or for the opportunity of becoming the "Best Known Jump Off For The Month?" WHY?

With that being said, let's take a look at the occupations of these women who these SUCCESSFUL, POWERFUL, RICH men chose to have sex with.....

Newt - A staffer that was 23 years his junior

Bill - A nobody (a chic who was just an intern)

Kobe - COME ON (a hotel employee...that he tried to back door)

Edwards - A filmmaker (the best of them all - and she didn't tell and still hasn't told, but his wife had cancer so he's a slime ball just for that mere fact)

Spitzer - PROSTITUTES (REALLY?)

Sanford - A Latin Lover (He was just dumb...he disappeared for a week to be with her during father's day weekend. Now, how in the hell were you going to explain that to your wife and kids)

Strauss-Kahn - A hotel MAID (he's the worst of them all.....he tried to take what he wanted...and from previous reports, has a history of assaulting women)

Schwarzenegger - The MAID (a woman who lived in the same house with his wife and kids for 20 years....WOW!)

Tiger - ANY WHITE WOMAN THAT WOULD LIFT HER SKIRT AND NOT ASK FOR MONEY...TIGER HAD "2" RULES.....NO BLACK WOMEN........AND NO WOMEN WHO ARE EXPECTING ME TO PAY ANY OF THEIR BILLS!

Now, I'm not trying to judge; nor am I disrespecting the occupation of any individual. What I am doing is bringing AWARENESS to the mere fact that MEN really don't care WHO they're getting it from.....they just care that they're GETTING IT!

Remember this is more than just a BLOG....it's Informative and Entertaining!

DOWN LOW.......or just.....LOW DOWN?

Are you DOWN LOW or just LOW DOWN?

Down Low....is a term that has been endeared by black men who are closet homosexuals portraying themselves as heterosexual males. It's the description that society has given to these men....mainly black men who secretly have sex with men while maintain open relationships with women. It's a term that has been used to describe gay men who are afraid and ashamed to be themselves in public and hide behind relationships with supposedly innocent unsuspecting women....while jeopardizing the lives of themselves and the lives of these women.

Society has been desensitized to the seriousness of DOWN LOW men. The term has become an everyday cliche'. And is often used as a term of endearment for closet gay males.

Although there has been no data to confirm the correlation between DOWN LOW men and the widespread of HIV and AIDS; minority women, men, children are being affected disproportionately....which leads to the question....How are DOWN LOW men affecting our society? Affecting our communities? Affecting our families? What are we going to do about it as a community and as a family?

Are we allowing these men to walk around labeling themselves as METRO SEXUAL.....SLIGHTLY FEMININE or just brushing the way they are by saying...."Oh, his dad or his uncle acted like that." Does that make it right? NO...it doesn't!

Pretending to be a straight male when you knowingly are attracted to and are having sexual relations with a person of the same sex and not making it a known fact to your partner is WRONG! It's WRONG on all LEVELS with no excuses to be made.

Not allowing your partner to make a decision as to whether they want to be involved with someone who's gay is selfish and shameful!

With all things being considered....should the blame be totally placed on the DOWN LOW MAN? Or, should the women that are involved bare some of this burden? How many times have you been around a married or committed man that is so obviously gay, and you ask yourself, "Is this woman blind or just plain stupid?" You have to ask, "Does she really not know that he's gay.....or is she just in denial?"

So many of us looked at Al Reynolds and Jonathan Plummer (Star Jones and Terry McMillan's ex husbands) and asked ourselves, "How in the hell did they not know these men were gay?" It was so obvious to us when we saw them....but yet both Star and Terry adamantly denied having a clue or inkling that their husbands were gay. Hmmmmmm.....I beg to differ!

Well, how many of us need to evaluate the men in our lives?

How many times have you seen your man look at another man just a little longer than what he should have?

How many times has your man told you he's hanging out with Kevin.....and he's always hanging out with Kevin when he should be hanging out with you?

How many times has your man preferred anal sex as oppose to having sex the way God truly intended it to be?

How many weekends or nights has your man gone on a "boy's trip" with the same boy(s) that he hangs with on the regular?

Really!

There are so many signs that WE as women overlook and just brush off. BUT then we act surprised when we find out that our man not only prefers women but men as well.......And all of this could've been avoided if we had acknowledged the elephant that was in the room in the beginning.

I say...if there's smoke......somewhere there has to be a fire! Don't be Hoodwinked....Bamboozled.... or Blinded! Demand the TRUTH! It's time out for us making excuses for these LOW DOWN COWARDLY MEN!

Honestly, there's no such thing as being DOWN LOW! There's just LOW DOWN MEN who are LIVING LIES and aren't fooling anyone but themselves. If you have sex with another man....you're not confused, you're not experimenting, you're not going through a PHASE....YOU ARE GAY.

It doesn't matter if you're the recipient or the giver.....GAY IS GAY! No matter how you toss the salad....it's all the same.

So, don't fool yourself......YOU'RE NOT DOWN LOW....YOU'RE SIMPLY JUST LOW DOWN!

Remember this is more than just a BLOG....it's informative and entertaining!