I have asked myself this question a million times....Why do most BLACK ATHLETES chose to marry or date WHITE women?
Is it because they feel it's what society expects of them? Is it because WHITE women are more beautiful than BLACK women? Is it the submissive nature of most WHITE women ?
WHAT IN THE HELL IS IT?
I'm not sure....and it's a conversation that I've had with my girlfriends and guy friends and we all have our personal opinion. It's just so hard to understand the rational behind the answer when our strong black athletic men are raised by STRONG BLACK women, in BLACK communities, attending BLACK churches and BLACK schools.
How is it possible that you would go out and find a mate that looks nothing like, talks nothing like, acts nothing like what you've been so familiar with for most of your life? Or, is that the reasoning? Are black athletes trying to escape the past? Are they trying to create new memories with what society has said is pure and right?
We all see how our athletes are sought after and prodded at like cattle in a herd.....waiting for their number to be called during the draft. Or, waiting for the once in a lifetime contract. Early on....they are sent to WHITE universities, where there are WHITE women, with WHITE coaches and new WHITE mentors who try to groom them for the professional athletic life. And as long as the going is good......they're accepted and welcomed into the WHITE families without hesitation.
BUT you better believe that if that same 6'9" black male was an ex-con...BECKY and REBECCA's DAD wouldn't have 2 words to say to him. As a matter of fact, he would give her an ultimatum....GET RID OF HIM or YOU'RE OUT OF THE WILL!
Recently a well known news program aired a special on women who seek out athletes. The report focused on athletes and the women they date and marry. They showed various white women who take their college fund to travel to places that are frequented by athletes with the sole intention of becoming a BASKETBALL, BASEBALL or FOOTBALL wife.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong for going for what you know....However, I have a problem with black men who solely date WHITE women.....and those who don't recognize or acknowledge the fact that this woman WOULD NOT have anything to do with him IF he didn't have a multi-million dollar contract.
So, I ask, "Is it the circumstances of the athletes that cause them to make certain decisions when choosing a mate?" "Or, are these the only available women that they're exposed to during their professional career?"
It can't possibly be!
I honestly couldn't and can't figure it out. It's something that continues to circle my thought process. It really baffles me as I look and listen to my black athletes praise their black mothers and grandmothers who have done such an amazing job to get them to where they are now....But then they go and marry Becky, Sarah and Elizabeth.....forgetting about poor Nicole, Tonya and Monique who helped them through high school or even kicked it with them when they first made it to college.
Please know that it's duly noted and understood that at some point these black athletes begin to socialize with diverse groups and the circle in which they travel change. However, there are black women in every part of this world....in every shade and color.....in every size and shape. So, I refuse to believe that Kobe Bryant, Terrell Owens, Reggie Bush, Michael Strahan, Tiger Woods, Richard Jefferson, Bradon Jacobs, Lamar Odom, or David Garrad, couldn't possibly find a black woman that could and would support them through their professional career.
The social phenomena of black athletes and white women has reached epidemic proportions. Whether or not it's true that the majority of black athletes are married to white women.....who really knows. BUT it is what mainstream America has chosen to present to us. Black athletes who marry and only date white women has been a hot topic amongst black women for years and it will continue to be.
I believe that everyone deserves to find happiness with a mate despite the color of their skin. HOWEVER, I also believe that where there's smoke......there's a fire.
So, again I ask......WHY do BLACK ATHLETES chose to marry and date WHITE WOMEN rather than BLACK WOMEN? Better yet.....why do SUCCESSFUL BLACK MEN chose to MARRY AND DATE WHITE WOMEN as oppose to BLACK WOMEN? I don't know......maybe I'll call Reggie, Koby or Tiger and ask them.
Remember this is more than just a blog. It's informative and entertaining!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sexing With a PURPOSE
I remember years ago asking my older brother if I could borrow some money. He calmly said, "You need some money huh? Well, open your legs." Knowing how much my brother likes to play, I relunctantly did it. "Now, look down. Do you have a USSY?" With eyebrows raised, I answered, "YES!" He asked, "You're not celibate are you?" Falling further into his trap I answered, "NO! But what does that have to do with you loaning me money?" And of course he came back with one better, "Well, as far as I see it. As long as you have an USSY and you're using it...you should never be borrowing money from me."
Now, of course I was pissed at him for not giving me the money. But, after years of sexing without a purpose, it all began to make sense. My brother was telling me what so many people say is wrong and shameful...He was simply saying that WOMEN who are sexing men on the regular need to make sure that those men understand that they have to PAY to PLAY!
YES! YES! YES! I said it....If you are sexing with a man on the regular...He needs to understand that NOTHING in life is FREE.
When he goes to movies...He pays! When he plays golf...He pays! When he goes to football games...he pays! When he was out clubbing and met you...He paid! So, what's wrong with him paying for the enjoyment and pleasure that he's receiving from you?
If we look at women like:
Jennifer Lopez who sexed P-Diddy with a purpose....
Kimora Simmons who sexed Russell Simmons with a purpose....
Or...KIM KARDASHIAN who's been sexing EVERYBODY WITH a PURPOSE
BUT NO...Society says that we should be independent and do it all ourselves. I say different.
We all know that as women are so willing to give of ourselves so willingly for the sake of LOVE, COMFORT, or for the sake of being able to say that we have a MAN...no matter how sorry he may or may not be. Or better yet....we SEX more often than none for the sake of POSSIBILITY! It's possible that he will marry me. Or, it's possible that we will be an official couple. BUT in the mean time....bills are due and the fridge is empty.
Women, how many times have you slept with a man and shortly afterwards the relationship ended? And what do you have to show for it....NOTHING! Or, how many times did he say that sex wasn't important to him, but as soon as you gave it to him...things quickly changed? Hmmmmm....EXACTLY!
As HARSCH at it may sound....as women we need to be upfront and honest and let it be known to the men who we are sexing....."There's a fee to ride this Merry-Go-Round! Yes, you may get 1 free ride, but please understand that repetitive rides are going to COST YOU!"
Now, I know that some of you who are reading this, are shaking your head and are probably saying..."This is mere prostitution, whoring or just down right slutty."
WELL call it what you want...
BUT...If you ask me....SEXING without a PURPOSE is even worst.
Through time and maturity I've learned that GROWN MEN who honestly CARE and have a WOMAN'S best interest at heart; UNDERSTANDS that he has RESPONSIBILITIES.
A REAL MAN would make sure that the WOMAN who's BED he's frequenting is TAKEN CARE OF.
Now, I'm not saying that a man should pay all of a woman's bills are completely take care of her. But I am saying that if there's a need and he can supply it....It shouldn't be a question about him doing it.
MEN...Be HONEST! (I know it's hard but let's try to do it) You know and I know that you are DEAD ASS WRONG if you've slept with a woman repetitively and have never even asked her if she needs gas money...Nonetheless, if she has food in the fridge or money in her wallet.
WOMEN... BE REAL! If you don't set a standard upfront...He won't do it in the end. Why are you using your grocery to cook him meals? Why are you driving your car to his house, using up your gas to give your body to him? WHY? WHY are we selling ourselves short?
Well, ask yourself.....ARE YOU SEXING WITH OR WITHOUT A PURPOSE? And if it's WITHOUT A PURPOSE....it's time for some adjustments!
Remember this is more than just a blog. It's informative and entertaining.
Now, of course I was pissed at him for not giving me the money. But, after years of sexing without a purpose, it all began to make sense. My brother was telling me what so many people say is wrong and shameful...He was simply saying that WOMEN who are sexing men on the regular need to make sure that those men understand that they have to PAY to PLAY!
YES! YES! YES! I said it....If you are sexing with a man on the regular...He needs to understand that NOTHING in life is FREE.
When he goes to movies...He pays! When he plays golf...He pays! When he goes to football games...he pays! When he was out clubbing and met you...He paid! So, what's wrong with him paying for the enjoyment and pleasure that he's receiving from you?
If we look at women like:
Jennifer Lopez who sexed P-Diddy with a purpose....
Kimora Simmons who sexed Russell Simmons with a purpose....
Or...KIM KARDASHIAN who's been sexing EVERYBODY WITH a PURPOSE
BUT NO...Society says that we should be independent and do it all ourselves. I say different.
We all know that as women are so willing to give of ourselves so willingly for the sake of LOVE, COMFORT, or for the sake of being able to say that we have a MAN...no matter how sorry he may or may not be. Or better yet....we SEX more often than none for the sake of POSSIBILITY! It's possible that he will marry me. Or, it's possible that we will be an official couple. BUT in the mean time....bills are due and the fridge is empty.
Women, how many times have you slept with a man and shortly afterwards the relationship ended? And what do you have to show for it....NOTHING! Or, how many times did he say that sex wasn't important to him, but as soon as you gave it to him...things quickly changed? Hmmmmm....EXACTLY!
As HARSCH at it may sound....as women we need to be upfront and honest and let it be known to the men who we are sexing....."There's a fee to ride this Merry-Go-Round! Yes, you may get 1 free ride, but please understand that repetitive rides are going to COST YOU!"
Now, I know that some of you who are reading this, are shaking your head and are probably saying..."This is mere prostitution, whoring or just down right slutty."
WELL call it what you want...
BUT...If you ask me....SEXING without a PURPOSE is even worst.
Through time and maturity I've learned that GROWN MEN who honestly CARE and have a WOMAN'S best interest at heart; UNDERSTANDS that he has RESPONSIBILITIES.
A REAL MAN would make sure that the WOMAN who's BED he's frequenting is TAKEN CARE OF.
Now, I'm not saying that a man should pay all of a woman's bills are completely take care of her. But I am saying that if there's a need and he can supply it....It shouldn't be a question about him doing it.
MEN...Be HONEST! (I know it's hard but let's try to do it) You know and I know that you are DEAD ASS WRONG if you've slept with a woman repetitively and have never even asked her if she needs gas money...Nonetheless, if she has food in the fridge or money in her wallet.
WOMEN... BE REAL! If you don't set a standard upfront...He won't do it in the end. Why are you using your grocery to cook him meals? Why are you driving your car to his house, using up your gas to give your body to him? WHY? WHY are we selling ourselves short?
Well, ask yourself.....ARE YOU SEXING WITH OR WITHOUT A PURPOSE? And if it's WITHOUT A PURPOSE....it's time for some adjustments!
Remember this is more than just a blog. It's informative and entertaining.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My FAITH is in GOD...not MAN
If you watch TV, have the internet, listen to the radio or even exist in this world; you've heard about the lawsuit that has been filed against prominent minister, Bishop Eddie L. Long. I've heard so many people make various comments and voice their opinion as to whether he is or isn't innocent. However, one thing that was said to me that was more profound that anything else. And I quote, "This lawsuit is going to really mess people up. So many people are going to lose their faith and leave church behind this."
When I heard this statement, I had to be clear. I wanted to make sure she was saying what I thought she was saying. Was she saying that people would turn their back on GOD because of the actions of a man?
YES! Yes, this is what she was saying and exactly what she meant.
It's sad to say that we as people, Christians, children of God, people of faith or whatever title you may have given yourself, should be ashamed. We should be ashamed and embarrassed. We have placed Ministers, Reverends, Pastors, and Bishops on pedestals and allowed them to be the focus of our faith. We worship them as if they're God. And we treat them as if they're celebrities. We've allowed them to be untouchable
Ministers, Reverends, Pastors and Bishops are mere vessels. Vessels that GOD has chosen to teach his children and deliver his word.
It is truly unfortunate and horrible the ordeal that Bishop Long, his family and congregation are presently faced with. However, GOD is still GOD! He is non-wavering, forgiving, and sovereign. The actions of a man should never determine a person's faith. It shouldn't determine you knowing that GOD is who and what he says he is. It shouldn't hinder you from believing, praising and acknowledging GOD, because he is just that GOD, ALMIGHTY, JEHOVAH!
This is a time for us to remember and reflect on the promises of GOD. If he said it....so it shall be!
SELAH
Remember this is more than just a blog. It's informative and entertaining.
When I heard this statement, I had to be clear. I wanted to make sure she was saying what I thought she was saying. Was she saying that people would turn their back on GOD because of the actions of a man?
YES! Yes, this is what she was saying and exactly what she meant.
It's sad to say that we as people, Christians, children of God, people of faith or whatever title you may have given yourself, should be ashamed. We should be ashamed and embarrassed. We have placed Ministers, Reverends, Pastors, and Bishops on pedestals and allowed them to be the focus of our faith. We worship them as if they're God. And we treat them as if they're celebrities. We've allowed them to be untouchable
Ministers, Reverends, Pastors and Bishops are mere vessels. Vessels that GOD has chosen to teach his children and deliver his word.
It is truly unfortunate and horrible the ordeal that Bishop Long, his family and congregation are presently faced with. However, GOD is still GOD! He is non-wavering, forgiving, and sovereign. The actions of a man should never determine a person's faith. It shouldn't determine you knowing that GOD is who and what he says he is. It shouldn't hinder you from believing, praising and acknowledging GOD, because he is just that GOD, ALMIGHTY, JEHOVAH!
This is a time for us to remember and reflect on the promises of GOD. If he said it....so it shall be!
SELAH
Remember this is more than just a blog. It's informative and entertaining.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
"Are YOU and THIS what I really WANT?"
Being single, for the most part, is a choice for most. However, there are some that for some reason or another; can't seem to find a mate. I on the other hand, am "ONE" of many who has made a conscious decision to stay single until "I" meet that one person that "I" want to be with.
People say to me quite often, "I can't believe you aren't married." Or, "I can't believe you don't have a man in your life." Well, being married and having a man in my life isn't that hard to do. For the most part it's quite simple. However, dating and marrying that one person that I want is something quite different.
Over the years, I've seen so many people meet people, date people and go on to marry people that they KNEW in the beginning wasn't the person for them. They knew that person wasn't what they wanted..... BUT, they did it anyway.
WHY?
They did it for....MATERIAL STUFF! MONEY! SECURITY! OUT OF FEAR! OBLIGATION!......
These are all reasons why we all do things. But, is sacrificing your happiness worth being with someone who you don't even want? Is having a large bank account enough to lay next to a person that you despise? Is being able to travel and spend money when and where you want worth you puttin up with BS that you don't deserve? Is it worth you laying next to a person that you can't stand to touch you just to be able to say you bought a $700 GUCCI purse?
IS IT?
Is living in a 5 plus bedroom house and driving a 745 BMW worth being beaten or called out your name when the doors are closed but having to smile in front of the church on Sunday mornings?
NO, IT ISN'T!...
Society has us all screwed up and we're all trying to live and be like the Joneses. We compromise on our morals and values just to look the part. And we settle and endure to pretend to be the part. But mostly, we give up being who we are and sacrifice what we want; when we shouldn't have to.
Personally, I believe everyone deserves happiness. Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted; and that love doesn't have to come at the expense of sacrificing happiness.
So, that brings me to the question....Are you where you are, with who you're with, doing what you do because it's what YOU WANT? Or, is it because of MATERIAL STUFF, MONEY, SECURITY, OUT OF FEAR or OBLIGATION?
Ask yourself....Why am I with you? Are you what I want? Is this where I need to be?
Remember this is more than just a blog! It's Informative and Entertaining!
People say to me quite often, "I can't believe you aren't married." Or, "I can't believe you don't have a man in your life." Well, being married and having a man in my life isn't that hard to do. For the most part it's quite simple. However, dating and marrying that one person that I want is something quite different.
Over the years, I've seen so many people meet people, date people and go on to marry people that they KNEW in the beginning wasn't the person for them. They knew that person wasn't what they wanted..... BUT, they did it anyway.
WHY?
They did it for....MATERIAL STUFF! MONEY! SECURITY! OUT OF FEAR! OBLIGATION!......
These are all reasons why we all do things. But, is sacrificing your happiness worth being with someone who you don't even want? Is having a large bank account enough to lay next to a person that you despise? Is being able to travel and spend money when and where you want worth you puttin up with BS that you don't deserve? Is it worth you laying next to a person that you can't stand to touch you just to be able to say you bought a $700 GUCCI purse?
IS IT?
Is living in a 5 plus bedroom house and driving a 745 BMW worth being beaten or called out your name when the doors are closed but having to smile in front of the church on Sunday mornings?
NO, IT ISN'T!...
Society has us all screwed up and we're all trying to live and be like the Joneses. We compromise on our morals and values just to look the part. And we settle and endure to pretend to be the part. But mostly, we give up being who we are and sacrifice what we want; when we shouldn't have to.
Personally, I believe everyone deserves happiness. Everyone deserves to be loved and wanted; and that love doesn't have to come at the expense of sacrificing happiness.
So, that brings me to the question....Are you where you are, with who you're with, doing what you do because it's what YOU WANT? Or, is it because of MATERIAL STUFF, MONEY, SECURITY, OUT OF FEAR or OBLIGATION?
Ask yourself....Why am I with you? Are you what I want? Is this where I need to be?
Remember this is more than just a blog! It's Informative and Entertaining!
Friday, September 10, 2010
"Is it really STEALING if he wants to be STOLEN?"
Can you STEAL someone....that obviously wants to be STOLEN?
I've asked myself this question time and time again. We've all read the headlines about Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats, Fantasia and Antwaun Cook, and now Monica and Shannon Brown.
Every time you hear a report...it's always the WOMAN who did the stealing. The woman is always a HOME WRECKER, SLUT, HO or just LOW DOWN!
WHY? Why is the woman the BAD GUY?
Why does she have to be all of these things when obviously the man was open to whatever went down?
At what point does the responsibility fall on the man who stood before God and took a VOW to love, honor and cherish til death do part?
Never....???
In all three cases....the women were drug through the mud and talked about horribly. BUT, nothing has been said about the MEN! At the end of the day....it was ultimately the man's responsibility to do the right thing.
It's been said...If you feed a stray dog long enough...he'll make your home his home.
So, did Alicia, Fantasia and Monica really steal these men away from their mates? Or, did they just feed 3 stray dogs that were looking for a home with a welcome mat that said....
WELCOME HOME.....COME IN!
Personally, I don't believe you can steal anyone from anybody. If a person wants to stay...they'll stay. And if they want to go....please believe, they'll leave!
To answer the question...No! You can't steal, take, or pry a person from another human being ... they have to being a willing participant in the activities....
Remember....this is more than just a blog! It's informative and entertaining!
I've asked myself this question time and time again. We've all read the headlines about Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats, Fantasia and Antwaun Cook, and now Monica and Shannon Brown.
Every time you hear a report...it's always the WOMAN who did the stealing. The woman is always a HOME WRECKER, SLUT, HO or just LOW DOWN!
WHY? Why is the woman the BAD GUY?
Why does she have to be all of these things when obviously the man was open to whatever went down?
At what point does the responsibility fall on the man who stood before God and took a VOW to love, honor and cherish til death do part?
Never....???
In all three cases....the women were drug through the mud and talked about horribly. BUT, nothing has been said about the MEN! At the end of the day....it was ultimately the man's responsibility to do the right thing.
It's been said...If you feed a stray dog long enough...he'll make your home his home.
So, did Alicia, Fantasia and Monica really steal these men away from their mates? Or, did they just feed 3 stray dogs that were looking for a home with a welcome mat that said....
WELCOME HOME.....COME IN!
Personally, I don't believe you can steal anyone from anybody. If a person wants to stay...they'll stay. And if they want to go....please believe, they'll leave!
To answer the question...No! You can't steal, take, or pry a person from another human being ... they have to being a willing participant in the activities....
Remember....this is more than just a blog! It's informative and entertaining!
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Putting him on the couch...does it really work? Or, will it backfire?
Most women recognize the POWER that lies within the pocketbook, cookie snatch, Va-JJ, or whatever name you might have for it. As we recognize these powers, do we as women abuse these powers?
As a single woman, meaning not being in a committed relationship or marriage; I understand that it's totally my decision as to whether I want to have sex or not. But when you're MARRIED or co-habitating with someone, does that choice change?
I had an indepth conversation with a friend recently, who's married. We were discussing sex and the importance of keeping sex alive in a relationship. Well, she went on to say that she hadn't had sex with her husband in almost 2 months because she was upset with him. And she wanted to make sure he understood just how upset she was.
HUH? Are you kidding me!
Did you just say "TWO" months? Now, I know how hard it can be at night when I get the urge and I sleep alone. BUT getting the urge and you can't have it and you're sleeping with someone. Hmmmm.....Not gonna happen!
So, I asked, "Do you actually think that's going to work? What do you plan to accomplish by holding out? And do you really think what you're doing is wise?"
She quickly reminded me how faithful her husband is, how he wouldn't dare cheat on her and how good her VA-JJ is.
Well, my friend...I'm sorry to inform you BUT my VA-JJ is delicious as well (or so I've been told) and so are so many other women VA-JJ but I can assure you, we've all been cheated on.
So, I ask.....
MEN! Could being placed on VA-JJ punishment push you into having an affair? Does it make you angry? Does, it make you resent your partner?
WOMEN! Do you think putting your mate on VA-JJ punishment is effective? Do you really think he's going to be faithful to you during these long periods of time? What do you think you're accomplishing?
Remember your comments matter because....this is more than just a blog...it's informative and entertaining
As a single woman, meaning not being in a committed relationship or marriage; I understand that it's totally my decision as to whether I want to have sex or not. But when you're MARRIED or co-habitating with someone, does that choice change?
I had an indepth conversation with a friend recently, who's married. We were discussing sex and the importance of keeping sex alive in a relationship. Well, she went on to say that she hadn't had sex with her husband in almost 2 months because she was upset with him. And she wanted to make sure he understood just how upset she was.
HUH? Are you kidding me!
Did you just say "TWO" months? Now, I know how hard it can be at night when I get the urge and I sleep alone. BUT getting the urge and you can't have it and you're sleeping with someone. Hmmmm.....Not gonna happen!
So, I asked, "Do you actually think that's going to work? What do you plan to accomplish by holding out? And do you really think what you're doing is wise?"
She quickly reminded me how faithful her husband is, how he wouldn't dare cheat on her and how good her VA-JJ is.
Well, my friend...I'm sorry to inform you BUT my VA-JJ is delicious as well (or so I've been told) and so are so many other women VA-JJ but I can assure you, we've all been cheated on.
So, I ask.....
MEN! Could being placed on VA-JJ punishment push you into having an affair? Does it make you angry? Does, it make you resent your partner?
WOMEN! Do you think putting your mate on VA-JJ punishment is effective? Do you really think he's going to be faithful to you during these long periods of time? What do you think you're accomplishing?
Remember your comments matter because....this is more than just a blog...it's informative and entertaining
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