The IMPORTANCE of YOUR CIRCLE!

In life we can get so busy and so caught up in the NOW, until we forget about yesterday and tomorrow. Recent events in my life made me STOP and re-evaluate everything and everyone that was around me. I had to literally sit and take INVENTORY of everything and everyone that was a part of my CIRCLE!

Now, the TERM CIRCLE is very significant to me. The TERM CIRCLE means more than just a mere geometrical figure. A CIRCLE is something that ENCOMPASSES.....meaning.....it encloses, it goes completely around, it surrounds, it encapsulates, it engulfs.

A circle has an effect on EVERYTHING that's within it. It can make what's inside BLOSSOM or it can be so detrimental and poisonous that it can suck all of the life out of it.

So, in me doing a 360 and evaluating my CIRLCE....I realized that the life and the light that I had inside of me was slowly seeping and drifting from my very being. It was literally being torn from my soul.

Things were so confusing and discombobulated until I began to question ME! I began to question WHO I WAS! I started asking myself, am I really who they say I am? What did I do to have people treat and do me this way? Why do people insist on lying on ME? Why did they choose ME? I was miserable! I was HURT! I was ANGRY!

BUT...I realized that it was my FAULT! I HAD ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO CHANGE ME! I HAD ALLOWED PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME, HAVE ME QUESTION MY CHARACTER!

IT WAS MY FAULT AND I KNEW IT! I ALLOWED IT......

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO CORRUPT ME!

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO USE ME!

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO ABUSE ME!

I ALLOWED MY CIRCLE TO SPEAK DEATH INTO ME!

I ALLOWED IT.....

Yes, I allowed what surrounded me to control me! I realized that I was no longer the honest, intelligent, beautiful woman that my loving parents raised me to be.

I started thinking...I started praying...I started crying! I began cleansing myself of everything and everyone that was not POSITIVE and didn't SPEAK LIFE into ME!

I realized and understood that this wasn't the POPULAR thing to do! I realized that it would come with pain and loss!

BUT....I could no longer think about the NOW! I had to think about my YESTERDAY and my TOMORROW!

I remembered what it was like to have PEACE! I remembered what it was like to have JOY! I remembered what it was like to have people who LOVED me for ME and not for what they THINK I HAVE or how they could benefit FROM THEIR FRIENDSHIP with me. I remembered what it was like to have people around me who knew my character and when it was questioned.....wouldn't doubt it!

I TOOK BACK MY LEASE ON LIFE AND IT'S ON INFINITE TERMS!

I had to erase that CIRCLE....and now I'm starting over! I'm starting over with a simple fraction of a whole!

Don't let your CIRCLE CORRUPT YOU! Don't allow people to SPEAK DEATH into YOU! Don't allow people to MANIPULATE and control YOU!

At the end of the day...what's around you will definitely determine what is birthed out of you.

I don't know about you...but I want LOVE!

I want PEACE!

I want HARMONY!

Ask your self......WHO'S REALLY A PART OF YOUR CIRCLE!

Remember...this is more than just a BLOG! However, this time....it's PERSONAL and it's REAL!

TIL DEATH US DO PART!

When I think of the words "TIL DEATH US DO PART", the first thought that comes to my mind is.......WOW, THAT COULD BE A VERY LONG TIME!

I can remember as a little girl and as a young adult dreaming about that day when MR. RIGHT would waltz into my life, get down on one knee and ask that magical question...."Will You Marry Me?" Well, now that I'm a mature WOMAN, who loves where I am in my life.....I don't know if I want to be with the SAME MAN until DEATH.

I don't know if I would enjoy waking up to, having sex with or even being in the PRESENCE of the SAME PERSON EVERYDAY for the rest of my life!

Now, I know society says that it should be every woman's dream to meet Mr. Right and live Happily Ever After! BUT, it's not! There are women in this world who are happy with having free reign with dating.....who are happy with being able to interchange men......who are just happy with just BEING.

Who says that MARRIAGE is everyone's HAPPILY EVER AFTER? I sure am not sure if it's MINE!

As I think of MARRIAGE and LIFE.......I simply have to ask.....
Who makes up the social rules that tend to govern our thought process and our path in life?

WHO SAYS THAT MARRIAGE IS FOR EVERYONE?

WHO?

You know....it's amazing and often comical how biased society can be. Why is it acceptable and NORMAL for a man to be in his late 30's, be successful, be happy and still be SINGLE?

HOWEVER.....if a woman is in her late 30's, smart, attractive, happy, not CRAZY and is still SINGLE.....THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER?

PLEASE!

Who makes these crazy ass biased rules.......Who's standards are these?

Let me tell you what's CRAZY or what's not NORMAL!

It's CRAZY for a woman to marry a man just because she thinks society is going to label her as not being normal if she decides to stay single, successful and happy.

It's CRAZY for people to expect you to settle down with a man just because you are almost out of your child bearing years.

It's CRAZY to expect to have to get married, explain your every move and ask for permission to do things that you've been doing independently your whole grown life.

It's CRAZY for a man to be pressured into marrying a woman who he knows he's not happy with just because of the length of time they've been dating exceeds the acceptable range by SOCIETY!

You know what's even CRAZIER....it's absolutely CRAZY to marry a man who you know isn't going to be faithful to you (because he hasn't been faithful to you while you were dating him), who really doesn't want to marry you....who pretty much really is just marrying you because you're the SAFE catch.....

Now....these are things that are crazy and not normal to ME!

Before I end.....let me just say......SURE, I would get married if I met that man who's a liberal thinker as myself. Someone who understands my need for equality and security. Someone who knows the typical expectations that society has placed on the title "WIFE" may not be the ones that I hold dear to my heart or can even meet! Under certain conditions and the RIGHT situation.......Yes, Yes, and Yes I would walk down that aisle and say, "TIL DEATH US DO PART!" But only when it's RIGHT for ME! Not because it's what society says I should do!

A dear friend of mine recently told me.....You have to chose to be HAPPY or chose to be RIGHT!

At first I didn't get it and I asked her to explain, but after a few days of thinking it through and really meditating on it.........I get it! But I also get the fact that I chose PEACE over anything.

I grew up in a two parent household where MARRIAGE wasn't always that GREAT and it wasn't always horrible. But it did give me a perspective as to what it would be for ME!

If my choosing PEACE means I will be single for the remainder of my days.....that's what I will have to deal with.

But I do know that I refuse to compromise, I refuse to waiver, I refuse to be anything other than what GOD created me to be. I can't DO what SOCIETY expects me to do simply because it's looked at as NORMAL. If that means that people will continue to ask me, "Why aren't you married? What's wrong with you?".......Well, I just have to keep answering....."I'm good! I'm happy! The question should be...wthat in he hell is wrong with you?"

"TIL DEATH US DO PART........TIL DEATH US DO PART.......TIL DEATH US DO PART.........."

WOW! That is a VERY LONG TIME!

Remember this is more than just a blog........."It's informative and entertaining"