I remember years ago asking my older brother if I could borrow some money. He calmly said, "You need some money huh? Well, open your legs." Knowing how much my brother likes to play, I relunctantly did it. "Now, look down. Do you have a USSY?" With eyebrows raised, I answered, "YES!" He asked, "You're not celibate are you?" Falling further into his trap I answered, "NO! But what does that have to do with you loaning me money?" And of course he came back with one better, "Well, as far as I see it. As long as you have an USSY and you're using it...you should never be borrowing money from me."
Now, of course I was pissed at him for not giving me the money. But, after years of sexing without a purpose, it all began to make sense. My brother was telling me what so many people say is wrong and shameful...He was simply saying that WOMEN who are sexing men on the regular need to make sure that those men understand that they have to PAY to PLAY!
YES! YES! YES! I said it....If you are sexing with a man on the regular...He needs to understand that NOTHING in life is FREE.
When he goes to movies...He pays! When he plays golf...He pays! When he goes to football games...he pays! When he was out clubbing and met you...He paid! So, what's wrong with him paying for the enjoyment and pleasure that he's receiving from you?
If we look at women like:
Jennifer Lopez who sexed P-Diddy with a purpose....
Kimora Simmons who sexed Russell Simmons with a purpose....
Or...KIM KARDASHIAN who's been sexing EVERYBODY WITH a PURPOSE
BUT NO...Society says that we should be independent and do it all ourselves. I say different.
We all know that as women are so willing to give of ourselves so willingly for the sake of LOVE, COMFORT, or for the sake of being able to say that we have a MAN...no matter how sorry he may or may not be. Or better yet....we SEX more often than none for the sake of POSSIBILITY! It's possible that he will marry me. Or, it's possible that we will be an official couple. BUT in the mean time....bills are due and the fridge is empty.
Women, how many times have you slept with a man and shortly afterwards the relationship ended? And what do you have to show for it....NOTHING! Or, how many times did he say that sex wasn't important to him, but as soon as you gave it to him...things quickly changed? Hmmmmm....EXACTLY!
As HARSCH at it may sound....as women we need to be upfront and honest and let it be known to the men who we are sexing....."There's a fee to ride this Merry-Go-Round! Yes, you may get 1 free ride, but please understand that repetitive rides are going to COST YOU!"
Now, I know that some of you who are reading this, are shaking your head and are probably saying..."This is mere prostitution, whoring or just down right slutty."
WELL call it what you want...
BUT...If you ask me....SEXING without a PURPOSE is even worst.
Through time and maturity I've learned that GROWN MEN who honestly CARE and have a WOMAN'S best interest at heart; UNDERSTANDS that he has RESPONSIBILITIES.
A REAL MAN would make sure that the WOMAN who's BED he's frequenting is TAKEN CARE OF.
Now, I'm not saying that a man should pay all of a woman's bills are completely take care of her. But I am saying that if there's a need and he can supply it....It shouldn't be a question about him doing it.
MEN...Be HONEST! (I know it's hard but let's try to do it) You know and I know that you are DEAD ASS WRONG if you've slept with a woman repetitively and have never even asked her if she needs gas money...Nonetheless, if she has food in the fridge or money in her wallet.
WOMEN... BE REAL! If you don't set a standard upfront...He won't do it in the end. Why are you using your grocery to cook him meals? Why are you driving your car to his house, using up your gas to give your body to him? WHY? WHY are we selling ourselves short?
Well, ask yourself.....ARE YOU SEXING WITH OR WITHOUT A PURPOSE? And if it's WITHOUT A PURPOSE....it's time for some adjustments!
Remember this is more than just a blog. It's informative and entertaining.
WOW!!!VERY, VERY INTERESTING! I AM A WOMAN AND I ASKED MYSELF THE QUESTION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT DISSOLVED SHORTLY AFTER SEX--TO BE TOTALLY HONEST I HAVE NEVER HAD ONE TO DISSOLVE SHORTLY AFTER AN INTIMATE ENCOUNTER. ACTUALLY I USUALLY EXPERIENCE THE OPPOSITES:THE SUITOR WANTING MORE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP OR TO PLUNGE DEEPER INTO THE RELATIONSHIP. HOWEVER, I DO HAVE AN OPINION OF WHY THAT DOES HAPPEN TO SOME WOMEN--WARNING, THIS MAY OFFEND SOME OF YOU THAT EXPERIENCE THIS TYPE OF SITUATION OFTEN OF EVER. ITS JUST LIKE THE ANCIENT SAYING"WHY BUY THE WHOLE COW WHEN YOU GETTING MILK,BUTTER, CHEESE, ICECREAM, ETC...FREE?" MEANING THAT WHEN YOU GIVE SO MUCH OF YOURSELF UP OH-SO-SOON, IN A RELATIONSHIP;IT DOESN'T LEAVE MUCH ROOM FOR A CHALLENGE OR EVEN A DESIRE TO BE IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP. SO MANY OF YOU ARE SELLING YOURSELF SHORT AND EXCHANGING SEX, TIME,TALENTS, ETC...IN THE HOPE OF FINDING TRUE LOVE. REAL MEN LIKE CHALLENGES AND THEY LIKE TO FEEL AS IF THEY WORKED DILIGENTLY AND EARNED THERE MATES, THEY ALSO HAVE TO FEEL AS IF YOU ARE A QUEEN--THAT IS SO HARD WHEN YOU CARRY ON AS A PEASANT. I TRULY BELIEVE THAT IT STARTS WITH THE WOMAN AND HER SELF-ESTEEM, IT'S QUITE APPARENT WHEN ITS 'LOW' AS IT IS WHEN ITS 'HIGH'. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE-IF NOT YOU'LL KEEP FLAPPING LIKE A DUCK,RECEIVING BREAD CRUMBS. IT REALLY SADDENS ME TO SEE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WITH SO MUCH TO OFFER, SET THEMSELVES UP TO GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK. FORTUNATELY, FOR ME,IVE CONNECTED WITH KINGS/PRINCES THAT KNEW WHAT QUEENS/PRINCESS' LOOK LIKE AND KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT AND NOT TO EXPECT. I LOVE MAYA ANGELOU'S SAYING:"A WOMAN'S HEART SHOULD BE HIDDEN SO DEEP IN HER MAKER, THAT A MAN WILL HAVE TO SEEK HIM FIRST TO GET TO HER". ISN'T THAT AWESOME!!!!IF WE JUST REPENT FOR ALL THE JACKED UP STUFF WE'VE DONE AND SEEK GOD, WE CAN BEGIN TO GET TREATED LIKE WHAT WE ARE: KING'S DAUGHTERS. I SAID ALL THIS TO SAY:FOR THE WOMEN THAT FIT INTO THE CATEGORY THE AUTHOR/BLOGGER SPOKE OF- REMEMBER THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY:"DOING THE SAME THING EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS"IF YOU WANT TO GET TREATED RIGHT- DO THE RIGHT THING. SEEK SOME GUIDANCE TO LIFT YOU SELF ESTEEM/SELF VALUE.
ReplyDeleteI truly appreciate your comment, however, let me first start by saying that not everyone is looking for love when they have sex. People have sex for different reasons and most of the time...it has nothing to do with love. Also, I would say that you are a very lucky woman to have never experienced a man changing or a relationship ending after a sexual encounter. But, this is truly REAL for so many women. And as I said in my post...I agree with the fact that women tend to give too much of themselves too soon, but that doesn't excuse the fact of men not recognizing a woman's worth. I'm not sure if you're single or married...I am a single woman who have a very broad spectrum of single friends (both male and female) that I talk to regularly about relationships and intimacy. And it's absolutely shameful how men are taking advantage of their situation with women. And it's even more shameful that women are allowing them. Again, thank you for your support and I look forward to more comments from you in the future.
ReplyDeleteSexing without a purpose. Hmm...where do I start? First of all, what goes on between two consenting adults is between that woman and that man. I can think of a few different purposes. Now if the terms are mutually agreed upon, then no one outside of said union should have a word of protest....it's not that complex. Women tend to complicate relationships! Try to understand men instead of always trying to change them...IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN LADIES!!! "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" is the most truthful and realistic cliche I know! We are, for the most part, simple creatures to understand. The problem occurs when women try to change some of the very things about men that makes them men. Now there are some serious and deep issues in regards to this subject...but I won't get into them now. I don't want to stray to far away from the author's topic. Now the issue of a woman basically charging for sex is so interesting on a few different levels. First of all ladies let me start by saying, disect the situation. What I mean by that is first, ask yourself is my stuff worth charging for! Now I know most of you will say, "HELL YEAH." Well let me eliminate a lot of you right of the bat. If you're not submissive in the bedroom; I won't go into explcit details, but you know what I mean, then you can't ask for compensation. Basic conservative sex is too accessible to men, simply because of the man to woman ratio...IT'S JUST THAT SIMPLE! For example, most (straight) men here in the city of Atl over a certain age is either married, have a girlfriend, or is playing the field...SUCCESSFULLY, spending little or nothing. They can get "Little House On the Prarie sex" for free! Step your game up...if you wanna charge (if I'm not talking to you then so be it)! You've always heard, "there's someone for everyone." Technically speaking, that can't possibly be true. Especially for women with pretty high standards (not saying that there's anything wrong with that). So mere numbers alone spoil men. Now my other issue with this is that most of you women, are doing a lot better financially than even a lot of hard working responsible men. I know you're going to say, "well that's not our problem!" Yes it is if you're trying to charge for sex. If you're going to cut out the sorry, good-for-nothing, bipolar, dead-beats, (which you should) then sadly it's back to slim pickens for you...and men know it so they're not going to let you charge. Also, ladies if you really like a man and he's a hardworking, God fearing, moral, good man who happens to be struggling (like most of us are right about now), and your tax bracket is a little higher...how can you put the charge on him? Hell, help him out. LOL! Lastly, if the relationship is just physical, and the man is "putting it down" in the sack, like LilHomey; How in the hell can you ask for monetary compensation when he's bringing you to multiple orgasms...if in fact that is the case. Now if the sex is "boo-boo", then charge them sorry ass niggas up! Peace...I'm "LilHomey"
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